I gotta say today was the first time in years that i woke up not feelin moody.Its probably the dream that i have before that awakening of my eyes.I was dreaming that i was in a place,no idea what i was doing there(most likely shopping haha) but i met most of my frens there.The nice thing was that i met them one/groups after another but the sucky thing was i that i was in that place alone when everyone else is in groups :P
While learning more bout myself,what i found out along with the sudden dream i had this morning is that I feel the happiest when talkin or socialising with friends.I think thats maybe that feeling is very short-fused all the time to me so i probably feel that i want to remember it while it lasted becoz once the moment's over i'm back to my old depressed self once again(but i will still feel happy a bit).
Well that ends my short post tonite,cya ppl
-Hanster's out-
25 March 2007
21 March 2007
A new background
Noticed the blue background now behind everypost here? yea,i decided on making a new background since the other day i saw a photoshop tutorial on abstract effects and this one was interesting enough that i took it hehe.
Still having no job,and since i haven got a reply yet from the auditing firm i applied,maybe i should just apply for other types of jobs maybe as in a bank or hotel considering that these were the most popular choices among my friends,but of coz i hav no idea how the process goes becoz i don't even know the correct person in these places to approach.I would hav asked my frens but my credit is low these days so postin here may still have some chance and of coz it cost $0.00 hehe.
I think i'm not ready for relationships yet,becoz its random things for every relationships there ever was.You may get someone whos either a bitch,obsessive,caring,bubbly,very socialising and etc and the funny thing is some of these qualities don't really appear till ur actually in the relationship.Well i guess love is blind after all,we really can't get what we expect
Another thing would be the time they last,most relationships i see don't really last that long and not even forever,something which i thought Mirul and Afifah would be but both of them broke up wif their gf and bf respectively.It makes me think that I probably will alternate between single or taken very rapidly in the future."Games" that people play will only make their relationship last longer but i'm sure those have to be played very frequently or else the relationship will crumble to the ground.
I guess i should enjoy being single,after all it gives us less financial problems n more free time hahahha.
-Hanster's out-
Still having no job,and since i haven got a reply yet from the auditing firm i applied,maybe i should just apply for other types of jobs maybe as in a bank or hotel considering that these were the most popular choices among my friends,but of coz i hav no idea how the process goes becoz i don't even know the correct person in these places to approach.I would hav asked my frens but my credit is low these days so postin here may still have some chance and of coz it cost $0.00 hehe.
I think i'm not ready for relationships yet,becoz its random things for every relationships there ever was.You may get someone whos either a bitch,obsessive,caring,bubbly,very socialising and etc and the funny thing is some of these qualities don't really appear till ur actually in the relationship.Well i guess love is blind after all,we really can't get what we expect
Another thing would be the time they last,most relationships i see don't really last that long and not even forever,something which i thought Mirul and Afifah would be but both of them broke up wif their gf and bf respectively.It makes me think that I probably will alternate between single or taken very rapidly in the future."Games" that people play will only make their relationship last longer but i'm sure those have to be played very frequently or else the relationship will crumble to the ground.
I guess i should enjoy being single,after all it gives us less financial problems n more free time hahahha.
-Hanster's out-
17 March 2007
Bipolar explainations
Wonder why i used "bipolar" in my blog title? Well if u wanna know:
Well i took it from "bipolar disorder" which i find the meanin on wikipedia and i now define it as rapid changing of moods.Think of it as another kind of depression.Only by wikipedia it was then i know what kind of depression i was having since form 4.My depression effect of moods still hasn changed but other aspects of it have already got better.I remember during Form4-Form5 i was completely insomniac throughout the whole 2 years and have always thought of suicide everyday.
Strangely enough,these aspects was almost reduced to zero when i start a new life as a Lower 6 student maybe due to me knowing new people and a different social setting.From there onwards,i considered myself to be "revived" and my past-self "dead" since i feel completely different from who i used to be since everyday seem like a really fun day well xcept for sociology classes haha.
Then came Upper 6 where its almost the same thing xcept now that my suicide thoughts return somewhere in the middle of the year plus a new personality of "i hate n care bout u at the same time" as well as being more curious.I gotta say,the hate-care thingy(tat was kept a secret till i told it in the 6 tagged questions) was pretty much scary even to me becoz it also gav me a fear that i might go berserk one day.For goodness sake,hate and caring dun often go together right?
and somehow i got both of these together as one *sigh*
And i dunno why i would get so upset over being left out.This wasnt such a problem in lower 6 for me so it confuses me why i'm getting tat only in upper 6.Either thats something gotta do wif my past or its just my damn way of dealing wif it
Usually i nvr tell these things to ppl since i dun wanna get hated on/a negative feelin by ppl for just this one single post.But of coz i know my readers equally long enough so i'm share this one wif all of u guys n gals out there some facts tat u should know bout me.So off i go then
-Hanster's out-
Well i took it from "bipolar disorder" which i find the meanin on wikipedia and i now define it as rapid changing of moods.Think of it as another kind of depression.Only by wikipedia it was then i know what kind of depression i was having since form 4.My depression effect of moods still hasn changed but other aspects of it have already got better.I remember during Form4-Form5 i was completely insomniac throughout the whole 2 years and have always thought of suicide everyday.
Strangely enough,these aspects was almost reduced to zero when i start a new life as a Lower 6 student maybe due to me knowing new people and a different social setting.From there onwards,i considered myself to be "revived" and my past-self "dead" since i feel completely different from who i used to be since everyday seem like a really fun day well xcept for sociology classes haha.
Then came Upper 6 where its almost the same thing xcept now that my suicide thoughts return somewhere in the middle of the year plus a new personality of "i hate n care bout u at the same time" as well as being more curious.I gotta say,the hate-care thingy(tat was kept a secret till i told it in the 6 tagged questions) was pretty much scary even to me becoz it also gav me a fear that i might go berserk one day.For goodness sake,hate and caring dun often go together right?
and somehow i got both of these together as one *sigh*
And i dunno why i would get so upset over being left out.This wasnt such a problem in lower 6 for me so it confuses me why i'm getting tat only in upper 6.Either thats something gotta do wif my past or its just my damn way of dealing wif it
Usually i nvr tell these things to ppl since i dun wanna get hated on/a negative feelin by ppl for just this one single post.But of coz i know my readers equally long enough so i'm share this one wif all of u guys n gals out there some facts tat u should know bout me.So off i go then
-Hanster's out-
15 March 2007
Tagged again n happy bday
This time i'm tagged by Ammar n Afifah aka The Double A's lol,only this time it doesnt involve questions hehe
Rules & Regulations:Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!
1) I eat ice cubes,the ones tat can fit into my mouth that is hahaha
2) I believe that i have more than just personality inside of me
3) I'm one of those few people that r "sushi virgins"(that term comes from Izzul then Ammar haha)
4) I hate my frens but i care bout them at the same time(weird huh?)
5)A loner but loves the company of frens(not tat weird but still weird)
6)Believes that the world will meet its end someday
Now lets see who i will tag:Mahirah,Sabreena,Qamarul,Izzul,Zeing n Munirah hehe
Also
Sorry for stealing ur pics to make this hehe,these were the best pics of all them that i found :P
Enjoy the fact that ur one step closer to u-know-what
-Hanster's out-
Rules & Regulations:Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!
1) I eat ice cubes,the ones tat can fit into my mouth that is hahaha
2) I believe that i have more than just personality inside of me
3) I'm one of those few people that r "sushi virgins"(that term comes from Izzul then Ammar haha)
4) I hate my frens but i care bout them at the same time(weird huh?)
5)A loner but loves the company of frens(not tat weird but still weird)
6)Believes that the world will meet its end someday
Now lets see who i will tag:Mahirah,Sabreena,Qamarul,Izzul,Zeing n Munirah hehe
Also
Sorry for stealing ur pics to make this hehe,these were the best pics of all them that i found :P
Enjoy the fact that ur one step closer to u-know-what
-Hanster's out-
10 March 2007
my kl trip
since im lazy to write so much i will just put more random pictures(i will put that at the end of this post) in here that i took durin my time at kl.
While i was in kl,strange thing was that i keep getting flashbacks of my social life every now and then.Hopefully this is not a sign of something bad to come.
-Hanster's out-
While i was in kl,strange thing was that i keep getting flashbacks of my social life every now and then.Hopefully this is not a sign of something bad to come.
-Hanster's out-
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